Polar Opposites Under One Roof

Living with my dogs feels like running a reality show where the contestants didn’t even audition for the same genre.

Xena is the wellness influencer of the house. She’s laid-back, wicked smart, and lives like she’s got a Peloton sponsorship deal. She prefers real food (the kind that grows from the earth, not the kind that rattles in a fryer basket), and she actually likes running. While other dogs are begging for scraps, Xena’s probably out in the yard doing a 10K with a side of yoga. She’s the quiet observer, the one who could probably run the whole household if I just gave her the Wi-Fi password.

And then there’s Roxy. My chaos goblin. My bulldog-shaped wrecking ball. She is dumber than a bag of nails, and I say that with deep, unconditional love. Roxy prefers the finer things in life—like chicken nuggets, French fries, and anything the vet specifically told her not to eat. Her cardio consists of waddling from the couch to her food bowl, followed by a solid 18 hours of snoring. When she is awake, she’s a full-time chaos machine—knocking things over, judging me from under her hoodie, and picking fights with appliances.

Put them together, and you’d swear I was running a scientific experiment:

• Control group: Xena, thriving on balance, brains, and broccoli.

• Variable of chaos: Roxy, the bulldog who thinks lettuce is a hate crime.

  
  

And yet—they work. Xena grounds the household, Roxy keeps it interesting, and together they make sure my life is never boring. One’s the CEO of emotional intelligence, the other is… well, probably the CEO of Hot Mess, Inc.

But that’s the magic: every pack needs both wisdom and chaos. I just didn’t think I’d be getting both in fur-covered form.