Blog Rant: Owning in the Tri-State (aka Poverty with a Mortgage)

People love to say, “Well at least you own, not rent.” Like that’s the jackpot. Baby, no. Owning in NYC/NJ is just renting from the state with extra steps.

Sure, I’ve got the deed. But the property taxes? Up. Again. And again. Every year like clockwork, my town acts surprised that people are broke while sending me a bill that looks like I’m secretly funding a small European monarchy.

Then there’s PSEG. That electric bill hits my inbox like a mob shakedown. “Nice house you got there, shame if you wanted light with it.” Add water and sewer charges, and suddenly flushing a toilet feels like a luxury sport.

Groceries? Don’t even. I’m already feeding the dogs Aldi-brand PupPeroni. Meanwhile, eggs are priced like rare jewelry, and don’t get me started on the cost of a gallon of milk. I’m one latte away from selling plasma to keep up.

And now—because the universe wasn’t done clowning me—the NYC commuter tax. So not only do I pay to live in New Jersey, I pay extra just to leave it. The privilege of sitting on NJ Transit next to a guy eating tuna salad at 7:30 a.m. now comes with a surcharge.

Oh, and speaking of NJ Transit—don’t even get me started. Never on time. Constant delays. Conductors who look at you like you’re the problem for daring to ask when the next train is coming. And yet—magically—the rates keep going up. At this point, I’m convinced I’m just paying more money to be late in higher definition.

Everyone acts like owning gives you stability. Newsflash: the only thing stable is how consistently broke I feel after paying all these bills. It’s “Congrats on your equity, now starve.”

Do I love living here? Yes. Am I going anywhere? No. But between the taxes, PSEG, and the privilege of flushing water down the sewer at $200 a month—I’d like to humbly submit that the American Dream is starting to look more like a nightmare with HOA fees (and I don’t even have an HOA).

Signed,

August Quinn

Your exhausted, over-taxed, utility-held-hostage, perpetually-delayed Tri-State writer.